Certified Public Assassin
by Keiran
Summary: (one-shot) Heero and Duo have a mission. Will they escape from the facility intact? Written for Sunhawk's challengecontest.


Author: Keiran  
Title: Certified Public Assassin 1/1  
Rating: PG  
Genre: … General, humour?  
Pairings: implied 1x2x1  
Warnings: implied shounen-ai, shooting. In other words, NONE!  
Author Notes: See if you can find three movie references I put in the dialogue. At least one should be more than obvious. One might be just me.

Beta: Shenlong Deb. Hugs!

xxxXXxxx

The blinding beam of light swept silently through the open space in front of the base. Duo snuck a quick peek from behind the wall he was crouched against, confirming his earlier observations. His hand automatically slid up, finding his partner's fingers.

"Round over. One on the far north-west corner," he breathed. A slight tightening of Heero's grip confirmed that he had heard. Closing his eyes, Duo rested his head against the cool bricks. His left hand tightened around the gun. He had maybe a dozen shots, but only one chance – the guards were neither incompetent nor stupid. Over-enthusiastic and annoying, yes.

A wide, even if a little mirthless, grin, blossomed on his face. Shooting incompetent or stupid people was dishonourable. And disappointing.

The braided boy raised his arm, aimed and fired.

Moments later he watched the single guard on top of the north-west corner of the wall silently collapse to the floor.

Sheathing his gun he silently got back to his feet. "Heero?"

"Silence." Duo nodded to himself. So far so good. The mission specks they'd been given had been shot to hell ages ago, leaving the two pilots improvising their way out. Not that it was an entirely bad thing, Duo thought to himself smirking. The Preventer's logistic specialists planned field work as if it were a harvest, it was a relief to finally be able to exercise both his brain and muscles, other than his tongue.

Heero, meanwhile, finished with hooking a cord to a seemingly reliable piece of metal. Duo inched towards the other boy across the sill they were both perched on. The dark-haired one extended his hand towards his partner. Duo stepped forward boldly, one of his feet between Heero's, his arms hooked around his partner's shoulders. Heero made sure the carabineer on his own waist was locked properly and connected to the rope.

The two agents looked into each other's eyes. They didn't have much of a choice, given that their faces were inches apart.

"So… which it's gonna be, soldier?" Duo grinned mischievously. " 'There is no spoon', or 'for luck'." Heero rolled his eyes.

"Whichever gets me a kiss?"

"Well, shit. That's not in the script, I'm afraid. But since the script went to hell anyway…" Duo laughed silently, pressing their lips together quickly. Heero smirked.

"Hold on," he breathed, tightening his arm around Duo's slender waist. Without another word of warning he pitched forward, letting gravity take its toll.

Duo closed his eyes, his muscles clenching instinctively, as they both fell into the night. The sill was a good twenty meters above the ground, while they only had ten meters of cord. Or, more precisely, Heero had only ten meters of cord. **His** ten meters were serving as a temporary bridge down on level 3.

A sharp jerk broke Duo from his musings. He opened his eyes, keeping his body as taut as possible. 'Thank god for Trowa and his circus act,' he thought to himself. The two of them were hanging ten meters above the ground, Duo hanging seemingly by the strength of his will, since he wasn't attached to anything but Heero. A gust of wind hit them, swinging the line back and forth.

"Ready?" the dark-haired boy asked. Duo took a deep breath and nodded. This was possibly the most dangerous part – Duo needed to let go of Heero's torso and move his grip as low as possible, so that the ten meters he'd end up falling would be as short as possible.

Shifting slightly the braided boy gripped Heero's waist with his elbows and clutched at the other's shoulders. Inhaling deeply he loosened the hold, allowing his hand to slide down to Heero's wrists. He let go of one.

Heero meanwhile swung his legs upwards, hooking them to the cord above, so that he was hanging upside down, gripping Duo's wrist with one hand. The braided boy hung for a split second more, before losing the grip and plummeting down. About a meter above the ground he kicked off the wall, hitting the ground on a more horizontal angle, allowing himself to break into a roll immediately. He lay for five seconds on the ground, taking one deep breath after another. Damn if he didn't hate that part!

Getting up to his feet he sauntered to the wall, sending a signal to Heero. The boy above his head unlocked the carabineer from the belt on his waist and let go. As he fell Duo ran towards the wall, springing of the ground and kicking off against the wall, grabbed his partner around the waist. Together they rolled, coming to a stop only a few meters away from their designated falling spot.

"I hate that," Duo moaned. Well, he gave a vague, facial impression of moaning, since barely a sound escaped his lips. Heero's face did a vague impression of exasperation. Duo's did a quite good and unambiguous rendition of a grin.

Together the two agents tiptoed silently towards the 'dark zones' as Duo had so fondly dubbed the spots where the sweeping light beam didn't hit. The rest of the escape was smooth sailing. They managed to get up onto the tower with barely any problems, neither from the shot guard (to whom Duo gave a cheerful wave), nor from anybody else. Getting down on the outer side wasn't much of a problem either.

Two hours later found Duo, straight out of a shower, leaning his back against a wall, breathing deeply. "Well. There it is," he announced cheerily to the assembled audience, at the end of the video.

Fifty pairs of wide-open eyes stared at the two of them in amazement. Fifty mouths snapped in unison, just as fifty pairs of hands started to clap. They were, after all, fifty of the best do-it-alone-do-it-yourself cadets from all over the world, sent to the main Preventer's training facility to be instructed by the ex-Gundam pilots themselves. It was one thing, however, to listen to the amazing, bordering on the supernatural, stories, quite another to see the recording of the famous duo making their way leisurely through the facility they were guarding.

"That was impressive, Agent Death, Agent Wing," Lady Une agreed with unspoken sentiment from her director's chair in the corner of the room. The duo grinned at her, bowing theatrically. Duo turned back to their audience.

"And now, ladies and gentleman, a sneak preview of your next session." Magically, a hand-grenade appeared in his palm. "I'm sure you all recognise this little item," he smiled cutely. "Now, remember folks: When you pull the pin," he gripped the pin lightly with his teeth and jerked sharply. "Mr. Grenade is no longer your friend," Duo concluded, letting the device roll under a chair on which a young cadet with red paint splattered across the chest of his uniform was seated.

Chaos ensued as the smoke grenade exploded.

Once the smoke cleared, Heero Yuy and Duo Maxwell were nowhere to be found.

THE END


End file.
